1. |
I Don't Know
01:42
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in this fucked up world
i dont know what to do or how to live or how to feel about myself
in this fucked up world
i dont know how to not get mad at me
i dont know how to eat healthy
i hate this shit i've had enough
i wanna quit but damn i'm stuck
in this fucked up world
that keeps my head twirling
i wanna cry
i try not to lie
sometimes i wanna die
i wanna feel alive again
i wanna believe what you said
i wanna do drugs i wanna drink too much
i think too much and self destruct
i still invest too much in drugs
i don't know what to do or how to live
i'm doin everything i can
to learn to lead a better life
and maybe i could be a man in this fucked up world
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2. |
Defeated
02:15
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when you're defeated
when you're trying to get this feeling out of you
when you can't see through the excess water in your eyes
stretching out your shirt to wipe your soaked cheeks
when it presses all the air out of your body with that last drop
when you feel it crawling up your abdomen it don't stop
it'll lie to you until you can't tell whats real
so you keep telling yourself to stop being such an emotional bitch
when you can't breathe
compulsively writing
compulsively contorting your face
shutting your eyes just as hard as you can
trying to pull something you can't find from out of yourself
when then can tell that something ain't right under the surface
and they leave it there
when you have to try hard to shut up knowing it aint fair
when your jaw is sore from clenching
when you lie to your friends
when you avoid problematic thoughts and conversations at your own peril
when death is a viable solution despite what they say
every day is another day
it's a brand new day
when you can't tell if you're just being a bitch
when you remember that none of this really matters
remember how small you are
remember all the trillions of people who had it worse
i guess i'd rather wanna kill myself sometimes than have ALS or MS
when you realize we don't give a fuck
you gotta suck it up and act happy and motivated or else you get put on the back burner...
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3. |
That Dog
01:27
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Huggin through September
kissin through November
by the next year we had gone and got ourself a dog
yeah she tells me she loves me
and she knows that i'm ugly
but that shit it don't bother my baby no not at all
Huggin through September
kissin through November
by the next year we had gone and got ourself a dog
both her and the dog would suffer too much for too long
while i was out galavanting with strangers in bars
the only saint that i ever knew was that dog
and i watched as he grew into one more noble and forthright that i could've forged.
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4. |
Ugly Truth
02:42
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nobody likes the ugly truth
you would do well to cherish your youth
but you don't feed into that narrative
preconceived notions firming your brow
remember the past
live in the now
an assault rifle in a crowd
i go to make myself a drink
i put myself under the sink
you don't drink alcohol do you
playing a famous chord progression
with honest lyrics and passive agression
i shudder in the cold
human beings are very frail
neuro receptor hammer and nail
foreign chemicals, disease and famine
i swerved left into oncoming traffic
and i got scared and it didn't happen
but by the grace of whatever
i go to fix myself a line
with my grandmother on my mind
in a dive bar in some town i don't remember
it didn't even hurt to fall
my son's picture is still on the wall
broken hands and dents
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5. |
It's Not Easy
02:41
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it's not easy to get out of bed
it's not easy to make and eat breakfast
it's not easy to brush your teeth but you gotta
it's not easy to look in the mirror and say
"hey i love you, you look good have a good day"
but you gotta, cuz if you don't nobody else will
it's not easy workin a job that you hate
while your income goes to child support and the state
it's not easy on your knees workin long hours on concrete
it's not easy being a woman
it's not easy dealing with racist pieces of shit
it's not easy to stand up and fight for what you believe in but please don't quit
it's not easy to understand
it's not easy not taking life for granted
it's easier to wanna be dead i do that all the time
it's not easy for me to communicate
it's not easy for me to not be late
it's not easy to say what i think about when i'm all alone in my room
it's not easy to be aware and have compassion and take action
when you see injustice or oppression being inflicted
it's easier for me than it is for most
but depression is a bitch so i propose a toast
glued to my phone gettin serotonin from those likes on the facebook
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6. |
Torture Song
02:58
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A confrontation a special place between me and you in time and space
I can tell that you're truly scared I can see it in your face
I hope that you understand that I'm doing this out of hate
And for selfish satisfaction you are essentially human waste
Close your eyes and recollect all of your lies no one will hear your cries for help no one will know the pain you felt
One injection leaves you stiff a second insurers consciousness through this process you will call hell before I begin I'll wish you well
Your fingernails are first I remove them one by one to quench my thirst to
Make you squirm in agony while I watch you happily
lacerations to your face and implore you to except your fate
I make you reject your God in your final hours while I maraud your body
For the next incision to make I cannot wait
I slice your eye lids off to ensure you watch me preform hate
Free form torture is my art I love killing humans it's on my heart
1 foot pumbled to a pulp the other one slowly ripped apart
At this point she's ready to die but I'd much rather make her wait and cry
I cauterize her major wounds there's no fucking way you're going to leave so soon
Beat the shit out of you with my bear face and spit right in your face you spit back so I cut out your cunt and feed it to you how does it taste
Stab you in the leg and twist the blade I am the monster your God made
With a small grin i peel your skin you still feel it to your dismay
I take a knife and cut your cheeks open and break all of your teeth
Pour fire ants down your throat there is no god there is no hope
Next I pour chlorine in your eyes it's getting close to time to die
Cut ur gut open and force you to disgorge you own organs
this horrid event in your life is about to come to an end
You pray to me as a God of death I want it too I can't contend
When I'm done I kick the chair you're on the ground I leave you there you cry for death and I say no I'll leave you there to decompose
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7. |
John Henry
03:39
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Well john
-Henry said to his brother, a
Man ain't nothin but a man, pick
-Up that 12 pound hammer no time for
Sad and mind your manners , Ima
-Be a steel driving man until I die oh lord
-be a steel driving man till i die
Well john
Henry, loved his mama so, but his
Mama didn't like where he go
Worked and didn't know what was above him or below, just
Gimm a cool drink of water for He die oh lord
Gimm a cool drink of water fore I
die
Well john
Henry wasn't like other folk, he
Worked hard all day but
Didn’t quite understand those jokes, and
People called him names and ya it Hurts but all the same he gon be
Minding his own business till he
Die oh lord he gon be
Mindin his own business till he
die
Well john
Henry, had a little woman, and the
Dress dress she wore was blue and
Oh she Loved him so but john Henry he didn’t know and
oh how she cried when he died oh lord, John
Henry died never havin known love
Well john
-Henry said to his brother, a
Man ain't nothin but a man, pick
-Up that 12 pound hammer no time for
Sad and mind your manners , Ima
be a steel driving man until I die oh lord
be a steel driving man tilli die
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8. |
Best Wishes
03:51
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I couldn't see the sunlight
Im driving thru the snow
N every time i turn around i just keep thinkin of my home
And oh my son i love you
And oh my son i know
That this is once in a life time
But i feel weak and slow and i
And i see the way she looked at me
And i know that this had to be the
Way its gotta be for now n
Im sorry my head is in the
clouds the babys sleepin dont be
Loud, father never taught me
How to be man or to be
Proud.. but i swear this much to
You, i still love you through n
Through do you remember how we grew or what we used to do
I didn't expect decades to pass me by but here we are how time flies... remember that night at the brewery, i gave you all of me
you seemed upset, i couldn't think i woke up under the sink,
now nowhere feels like home, and i'm not good enough
i always feel alone but stay tough
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9. |
Johnny Hobo
02:17
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i've been workin on becoming what i am in
Friends bathrooms all across the country
And these days i dream like i live with escapism and dependency
Why do you work so hard for an image?
A social facade, inherently flawed and devoid of any genuine human connection
Im actually pretty mad that you don't
Believe me when i say i love you
Push me and tell me that I'm drunk
Well so what if i've been drinkin?
There ain't nothin like singing your heart out to nobody
Cuz nobody cares
Nobody knows
I wasn't just blowin smoke when i told you i'd trust you
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10. |
Mungo Jerry
00:46
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IN THE SUMMERTIME when the weather is hot
You can stretch right up and touch the sky
wether you like or not you got women you got women on your mind
If you're drinkin don’t drive, you know you don’t want that DUI
If her daddy’s rich take her out for a meal
If her daddy’s poor just do what you feel
Speed along the lane... do what you gotta to feel alive
When the sun goes down we can fake till we make it or we die
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11. |
Goodnight
01:04
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Good night from hundreds of miles away
If you’re happy, I hope you stay that way
If you’re not, I hope you feel better soon
I hope that you know I love you to the moon
If you’re
Feeling blue, remember
I love you and if that
Doesn’t help wellthen at
Least you got your health and a
Sun in the sky and those
beautiful eyes and I
swear that i would never lie to you unless it was life for a surprise party
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12. |
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Good night from hundreds of miles away
If you’re happy, I hope you stay that way
If you’re not, I hope you feel better soon
I hope that you know I love you to the moon
With your
beautiful hair and your
Piercing stare and the
Way that you think
Did you put drugs in my drink I wanna
Grow old with you, just give me the que
Goddamnit stop bein so mother fucking god shit ass damn cute all the time
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GutterLove Florida
Folk music with punk influence.
i don't know what I'm doing..
FREE MUSIC
Instagram @XGutterLoveX
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