homemade. sorry.

by GutterLove

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idk man, low quality emo folk ?
embarrassed to release this but eh
instagram: XgutterloveX
-Alan de la Torre


released February 12, 2017

i did fuckin everything.
thanks drugs.



all rights reserved


GutterLove Florida

Folk music with punk influence.

i don't know what I'm doing..


Instagram @XGutterLoveX

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Track Name: Alan's Just Jaded
i feed myself when i have to and boy am i glad i dont have a son i hardly ever take care of my own body but i like doing cocaine cuz it's fun

i save money by cuttin out cigarettes they smell bad and dont even get me high, boy am i glad that i dont want to molest children it must suck to be that guy

i love drinkin busch beer, some people tell me that it sucks, i also like whiskey n fancy ipas sometimes but shit man i dont have a million bucks

i find a sense of loyalty and honesty and i try n be a decent man
i get lied to and walked all over im trying as hard as i can

i love this young woman so so so so much and we dont even know eachother anymore
and we're both honestly bad at communicating that love will put me straight down on that floor

i make too many assumptions n i'm selfish n i see situations from one side, i'm trying every day to be a better person, but goddamnit i cant wait to die
no i can't wait to get high

i love puppers n kittens n doggos, cockroaches foxes n bears
i love the oceans and the mountians n the trees n all the other planets way out there

i wish my friends would stop doin heroin i wish my brother would stop doin pills
it sucks a million dicks that they choose to waste their lives, but they hopefullly will get better soon

i love slamming brutal technical death metal i love blastbeats and 300 bpm
i love gutturals and dissonant chords
it must be something in my brain stem

i'm not a very self confident person but lately i've been faking it well
stress and depression will etirely consume me, things could be alot worse

i feed myself when i have to
i tell my grandma i dont believe in god
human existence is an insignificant perspective
existence with frontal lobes is odd
existing with frontal lobes is odd
Track Name: I'm so tired
i'm so tired
sheep are counting me
i've been so exhausted
no more energy
and just maybe someone will sweep me off my feet
i'm so fucking selfish, i'll try harder next week

i'm okay
sadness in my lungs
there are so many people, and i just aint the one
just pretend that you love me
lie to my face
i aint nothin special
easily replaced

i'm so sorry, i cant remember why
i think i should leave, i think i should die
maybe it's not as bad as i tend to think
theres something wrong with my brain
i just need a drink
Track Name: Michael Cash
do you remember all those good times
all those years ago
all those drugs we did and people we loved but no longer know
and oh how times are changing
time keeps dragging on
johnny cash told me that it would hurt but i would fall in love

oh my darling
what happened since i saw you last
i suppose that not much has changed
i'm still just as insane
i'm still nervous and honest
I'm trying to explain
every time i see you, i get stopped in my tracks
i just wanna tell you...
never mind goddamn
atleast im not dead or in jail
i'm just vomiting on my best friends rug
i guess that this is why michael jordan always told me not to do drugs
Track Name: Park
and i actually got pretty mad
that all the money that i had been working hard for
and spending on taxes had been spent by my government on oil war
as opposed to cleaning up my local park
i love this park because i love the outdoors
i also love to be alone and smoke weed unharassed
i love the noisy overpass that runs through the park
and the caloosahatchee river that flows under the overpass

i'm so sorry about what i said
or the way that i acted
and i swear that i didnt mean any harm
i'm just not sure how to act
ontop of being bad with social ques
i just dont know what to do
except for shut the fuck up and fuck off and that's not really a reasonable way to think
and i'm so tired of saying sorry
and i'm so sick of being embarrassed of myself
Track Name: Robbin the Hood (ft. lil jon)
afternoon in FL with the whiskey and the kinfolk
thinkin bout my life it makes me feel some kinda way

reminiscin this n that n havin such a good time
oolie ollie oolie golly what a day

we would sit n talk about the less fortunate families wishin em well from afar
n we think about the past, talk about the future bein grateful for where we are

anxiety depression drug addiction and regression got me livin like a piece of shit n thinkin bout my death
doin everythin i can to conquer all this bullshit
oolie ollie oolie golly what a mess

ya we were 3 boys deep at a party gettin drunk n stoned n i was doin cocaine
and i wanted this woman to love me but she didnt even know my name

the insignificance of humans is hard to overstate
existence is incomprehensible to us

millionaires buyin children
middle class barely livin
i'm just a homeless man pissin on a bus
Track Name: bedroom floor
boy do i feel alone in my own home filled with my bestfriends
i feel so stupid for feeling this way, maybe, just maybe if my life ended i wouldnt have to think about or feel anything at all

I'm so sorry for the way that i am
i wish i wasnt this
i'm tryina change
i dont understand myself but i feel like not many people do at this age
i just hope that this thing that i call crippling depression goes away

it's not a very comprehensive list
but ive basically basically run out of time in this song
thanks for being my therapist
now it's time for you to sing along
i'm gonna hum a tune, it should be pretty simple
sing along if you want to
what did i do
i'm such a piece of poo
Track Name: Thinkin' is Stinkin'
i've been in bed for 4 hours
and i just wanna sleep
but my heart won't stop hammering in my chest cavity
depression stress n overthinking
tryina rationalize my feelings while i'm drunk didnt quite work
oh what a suprise
what's in your eyes
everyone i know is scared to die
i'm one of few
i'm done with you
and cigarettes
i'm not done yet
i feel like shit
i need a hug
stop tellin me
it's just the drugs
Track Name: Jackson Trash
we got married in a fever hotter than a pepper sprout
we've been talking bout jackson since before that fire went out
i'm goina jackson
to turna loosa ya coat
i'm goina jackson
i love yous all i know

well i'm goin on down to jackson
i'm gonna go n wreck my health
whiskey drinkin lovin sinnin coke head piece of shit still grinnin
makin a fool of myslef
i'm goina jackson
gonna run a muck
ya i'm goina jackson
i'm gonna get fucked up

so goddamn drunk n stoned in the streets of jackson
people laughin at me
i'm gettin into fist fights all of my life like this is what i was born to be
oh i'm in love with jackson
easy times n girls
i'm in love with jackson
baby come be my world
Track Name: it goes
when i was 12 yrs old i wasnt allowed to watch pg 13 movies
when i turned 17 i tried crack cocaine for the first time in miami
it's not that life is short
it's just that death is so much goddamn longer in comparison
i told my love while wearing that sad clown drug lit smile of arrogance

and some of my tattoos are just there to remind myself not to take life too serisouly
i just wanna have fun and at the same time conduct myself with decorum and coherency
but then again, when im 7 beers deep the last fucking thing that i need
is the person next to me telling me
the bags under my third eye indicate that i need sleep
well no shit, but i've still got so much left to do
good nights n fist fights, bong rips n road trips to make to lie to your face
i'll tell you i love you